I’m noticing i live in a constant state of next.
Have baby, next, get through illness, next , decorate and buy for Christmas, next, have Christmas, next, clean up , next , New Years , next, house project, next
Can someone turn off my brain!!
The funny thing is , I’m not the only one. I have been talking to lots of people who were feeling the pressure to decorate and already have taken down the decorations.
Next, Next , Next
What are we so scared of?
Why is what is next so much more appealing that what is now? Because technically the now was the “ next “ from yesterday.
Why am i so scared of right now?
⁃ maybe i feel like a failure in the now
⁃ And when i work on the later i feel so good
⁃ Maybe i feel like everything depends on me, and if i slip up … things go to crap
If i meal prep for next week i feel fantastic.
If i schedule all our appointments i feel like super woman.
Being prepared is a beautiful thing.
But always preparing is not living now. It’s living in the future.
It’s like our brains and hearts want to be somewhere else specifically the future.
It’s kinda like “cheating” on the present.
Is that weird?
When our little one wants to show us the picture they drew but we are so busy being productive ,we give them a 2 second glance. That is not embracing the now.
Or when our husbands reaches out to us by talking about a new truck he saw and we half way listen because we are busy cleaning or dressing, we are shortchanging the “now.”
We are basically saying “ I think the NEXT will be better than the right now” “the next has my heart not you.”
How much of life have i missed by focusing on the “NEXT” and the “PAST” anything but the “NOW.”
The monks discuss this…That we begin a tasks obsessed with its completion. The entire time we are working on a task we are thinking of its completion.
I once heard that’s the problem with dating sites is that you always feel like someone better is “next.” So you just keep flipping. And the people you meet will never live up to who could be “next.”
That’s how i think , if i can get through this week, this virus, this reflux, this afternoon I’ll be ok.
I don’t want to get through though.
I want to be there. Right there. Even if it’s messy and ugly.
Right now. I’m going to talk to my spouse and rock in my chair.
This is a great song.
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