We are frequently tempted to think that holiness is only for those who can withdraw from ordinary affairs to spend much time in prayer. That is not the case. We are all called to be holy by living our lives with love and by bearing witness in everything we do, wherever we find ourselves. – Pope Francis in Gaudete et Exscultate
When i first had children, i tried to go to daily Mass with my kids. IT . was .so .difficult. And by difficult, i mean horrible. Juggling a nursing baby and toddlers in Church is a feat of great proportions! So i had to slowly let that go.
I was used to going to Adoration and i had to let that go.
I loved going to prayer meetings, retreats , or speakers but as i had more littles i had to let that go.
I loved to get to Sunday Mass early and sit near the front. I had to adjust.
My prayerlife changed a great deal. My mornings are always accompanied by an infant.
At first, i often considered all these Changes ..
as motherhood was “taking” from my spiritual life.
I took many years for me to realize i was in the active night of the soul. God was calling me not to distance myself from my life to connect with Him but to invite Him into my daily grind.
God wants to help me find the perfect couch. He wants my white beans to come out delicious. He wants to help me train my 5 year old to sit calmly. We have this image that God is up high and distant. It’s so hard to realize we find Him when we draw inward and become aware of HiS Presence.
For all those years, i looked at myself in self pity. Now i realize that was such a spiritual journey in self denial (even of Holy things.)
It also forced me to find God in my home instead of a Church.
Now i am slowly finding ways to go to prayer meetings, or Adoration. My appreciation for these quiet times is indescribable. Looking back i realize it was only a season. God wasn’t “taking” anything from me.
He was preparing me. Stretching me. Honestly, stretching me for more joy and Love !
God is so good.